top of page

Understanding and Managing Emotional Dysregulation in Kids: A Personal Journey

Parenting is no easy feat, especially when you’re dealing with child frustration and tantrums regularly.

As a parent to a child with ADHD and Autism, I’ve experienced firsthand the challenges that come with emotional dysregulation in our children.

It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, but we’ve found ways to help our child manage these big feelings through understanding and patience.

Understanding behavior is a game changer
Understanding behaviour is a game changer

My Personal Journey with Emotional Dysregulation

When my child was first diagnosed with ADHD, I was overwhelmed. The tantrums, yelling, and sudden outbursts of aggression were difficult to handle. At times, it felt like we were living in a storm, constantly bracing for the next wave of frustration. I remember the defiant reactions, the tears (both mine and my child’s), and the feelings of helplessness that came with trying to manage these behaviours.

Understanding the Root Causes

What I learned along the way was that these outbursts weren’t just random acts of defiance. They were often a result of poor executive function skills and emotional dysregulation.

Children with ADHD can struggle with managing their emotions and impulses, leading to frequent meltdowns and aggressive behaviour.

Here are some Strategies for Managing Tantrums and Aggression that helped me

Here are some strategies that have helped us manage tantrums and yelling:

  1. Stay Calm and Patient: This was perhaps the hardest but most crucial step. Reacting with anger only escalates the situation. Taking deep breaths and waiting for the storm to pass made a significant difference.

  2. Use Clear Communication: Children with ADHD and dysregulation often have communication challenges. Speaking in simple, clear sentences helped my child understand what was expected of them.

  3. Create a Safe Space: Having a designated area where my child could go to calm down helped reduce the intensity of their tantrums. This space was filled with comforting items like soft pillows and his favorite books.

  4. Teach Emotional Expression: Helping your child express their feelings is vital. We used picture books and emotion charts to help our child identify and talk about their emotions.

  5. Consistency is Key: Keeping a consistent routine helped my child feel more secure and reduced the frequency of outbursts.

The Role of Executive Function Skills

Children with poor executive function skills often struggle with planning, organising, and completing tasks. This can lead to frustration and aggressive behaviour. Understanding these challenges allowed us to provide the right support and tools for our child to improve these skills gradually.

Helping Our Child Express his Emotions

One of the biggest breakthroughs was teaching our child how to express his emotions in a healthy way. We used techniques like:

  • Emotion Charts: Visual aids that helped our child identify how he was feeling.

  • Role-Playing: Acting out different scenarios to practice appropriate responses.

  • Journaling: Encouraging our child to draw or write about their feelings.

Understanding His Aggression with ADHD

Aggression in children with ADHD is often a result of their inability to control impulses and emotions. By understanding this, we were better equipped to handle these situations calmly and effectively. Instead of seeing aggression as a behavioural issue, we viewed it as a cry for help and a signal that our child needed support.

The Importance of Patience and Understanding

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s the importance of patience and understanding. As parents, our reactions can either escalate or de-escalate a situation. By staying calm and providing a supportive environment, we can help our children navigate their emotions and develop better-coping mechanisms.

Is this easy? NOOOOOOO!!!! I needed to stay in the here and now during these situations. BUT IT GOT EASIER. That is a promise.


Navigating the world of emotional dysregulation in our children, especially those with ADHD is challenging but not impossible.

By understanding their behaviour and using the right strategies, we can help our children manage their emotions better. It’s a journey of learning and growth, both for the child and the parent. Remember, patience, clear communication, and a supportive environment are key to helping our kids thrive.

FAQs - I got a lot

Finding answers is key for parents
Finding answers is key for parents

What is emotional dysregulation in children? Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulties in managing and responding to emotional experiences in an appropriate manner.

How can I help my child with ADHD manage their emotions? Use strategies like staying calm, using clear communication, creating a safe space, teaching emotional expression, and maintaining consistency.

Why does my child with ADHD show aggressive behaviour? Aggression in our children with ADHD is often due to poor impulse control and difficulty managing emotions.

What are executive function skills? Executive function skills include planning, organising, and completing tasks. Children with poor executive function skills may struggle with these abilities.

How can I teach my child to express their emotions? Use tools like emotion charts, role-playing, and journaling to help your child identify and communicate their feelings.

43 views0 comments


bottom of page